Behind The Face (E​-​605)

by E-605

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1.
2.
3.
04:32
4.
Another day my theory became true, what can go wrong will go wrong, it’s cruel. Love and hope – both are temproray I see - all my ways lead into profanity. I can’t believe these damned things that I see now. My goods and chattles are fading away. I need self-deception to compensate, that phantasmagorias keep me alive. There are friends in every place I go. But when I need one, there is none. When as a matter of fact, life is hell. They start creeping back into their shells. I can’t believe these damned things that I see now. My goods and chattles are fading away. I need self-deception to compensate, that phantasmagorias keep me alive. With my back to the wall I am standing. There is no way out, but I still smile. I see myself bigger than the devil. A phantasmagoria, but I am still alive. Hey, why are you pointing at me? Because you’ve got no time for me! But now I’m here, can’t you see? Now I don’t need you! Once I had time for you. This is long ago. Why are you starting to cry? Because yesterday I wanted to die! Lie, what do you think is a lie? Tell me what do you think is wrong? We are fooled many times, but pain keeps going on and on. Paralysed and insane. I’ve been fucked once again. Distrust’s attested next time. Self cheating is no crime. Another hope is gone away. Another friend is dead today. Salvation is a luxury, that no one cannot pay. More and more atrocities Contentment is a luxury No one can rely on the persons we call friends. I can’t believe these damned things that I see now. My goods and chattles are fading away. I need self-deception to compensate, that phantasmagorias keep me alive. With my back to the wall I am standing. There is no way out, but I still smile. I see myself bigger than the devil. A phantasmagoria, but I am still alive.
5.
03:51
Swimming in emptiness. Drowning in self-pity’s zest. Think in circles on and on. I mistreat myself. Too many questions. No replys. These chains in my head are harder and colder and stronger than me In this odious night I don’t feel sad for my wish to die and I don’t deny that it is my own fault but on some days I can’t fight. Playing with a razorblade. And again I hesitate. Fear and pain with agony are a mighty force. Too many questions. No replies. These chains in my head are harder and stronger and colder than me In this odious night I don’t feel sad for my wish to die And I can’t deny I’m too weak to fight the pain Because I’m occupied with suffering and with punishing myself this time Never again, I think, the sun will shine for me. I will not pick up the phone I want to stay here alone I will not open the door No one can save me. No more.
6.
05:34
Treated like a little child. Being heard requires mercy. Never ask the question: Why? But keep on smiling. Working like a dog all days. What’s the meaning of recess In a world where money talks? Wake up you dreamers! My head is in flames There is no escape from that inhuman exploitation. To where can I go? I cannot compromise that I have to disguise myself in a way that I consider to be totally wrong. Creeping – drives me mad. Toadyism – makes me insane. But I don’t know at which place I could hide Pain – I had enough. Destruction – look at my heart. Every scar on my soul makes me colder at all. In the way that contentment is hope is killed by despair. Suffocated creative thoughts destroy wellness. Is it worth that a man can die by the affliction of stillness? While thousands pass him by and no one cares of his cry? This world has to be hell, and forget to tell me man, that in former days the future was better than today. I wait for the solstice that once will break The ice between the whole humanity and me. Creeping drives me… Rage is not the exit, but it helps to stay calm. Destroy their might. Never kiss their asses!
7.
8.
04:27
9.
03:04
I hate you because you hate me. Man tell me your apology For your arrogant behaviour, everytime you’ve got the chance for. We’re alone at this time. It’s my turn to feel fine. No more hide behind your job. Your will bleed to pay for your intolerance and for every circumstance. You will pay a thousand times. Feel my hate. Iron rod in your face. Tell me faggot how it feels to you? Brutal pain for heresy. For apologies it is too late. Lahak! I’m no superstar, but you’ve really gone too far. You are never save again. Care of your back! We will once meet again. What will you answer then when I’ll ask you who I am? Iron rod in your face… No respect underestimate No honour? Take care! Pay attention to inferiored Or you’ll have to pay the bill Cuit lahak!
10.
03:39
11.
02:55

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released January 1, 2002

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Act of Creation Siegen, Germany

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