Odious Night

from Behind The Face (E-605) by Act Of Creation

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lyrics

Swimming in emptiness.
Drowning in self-pity’s zest.
Think in circles on and on.
I mistreat myself.
Too many questions. No replys.
These chains in my head are harder
and colder and stronger than me
In this odious night
I don’t feel sad for my wish to die
and I don’t deny
that it is my own fault
but on some days I can’t fight.

Playing with a razorblade.
And again I hesitate.
Fear and pain with agony
are a mighty force.
Too many questions. No replies.
These chains in my head are harder
and stronger and colder than me
In this odious night
I don’t feel sad for my wish to die
And I can’t deny
I’m too weak to fight the pain
Because I’m occupied
with suffering and with punishing
myself this time
Never again,
I think, the sun will shine for me.

I will not pick up the phone
I want to stay here alone
I will not open the door
No one can save me. No more.